Sex Addiction: Why Men in Power Act Out
Sexual addiction has affected some of the most notable figures in television, politics, and entertainment. David Duchovny’s public admission of being a sex addict, followed swiftly on the heels of a series of political controversies involving, Elliot Spitzer, Larry Craig and of course, Bill Clinton, are just a few examples of sexual addiction problems manifesting in men of power.
The source of sex and love addiction is frequently a lack of connection, genuine intimacy and emotional support, says renowned sex addiction expert Robert Weiss, LCSW, CSAT, Founding Director of The Sexual Recovery Institute in Los Angeles, a treatment center for individuals suffering from sexual addiction and compulsive relationship problems. In many cases, people who addictively seek out intensely pleasurable experiences to distract or stimulate them are attending to their emotional needs in dysfunctional ways.
Juggling the Pressures of Stardom
“People in positions of power often work 16- to 18-hour days, travel the world at a far distance from those close to them, while having to manage intense stress and pressure.” says Weiss. “They don’t make it a priority to take care of themselves or create and enjoy down time, and as a result, they are missing out on the relaxation, self-care and emotional intimacy all human beings require for a healthy life.”
The less a person’s emotional needs are being met, the more likely he or she is to look for a quick fix to get by, explains Weiss. Instead of slowing down and taking care of themselves or even recognizing the need to do so, some individuals, particularly celebrities and politicians in positions of power, end up feeling empty and entitled to indulge in a guilty pleasure or two.
“Those prominent celebrities and politicians who are in the constantly in the public eye are forced to be ‘on’ nearly all the time,” states Weiss. Because they are often surrounded by adoring fans, gossip-hunting media, and the paparazzi, they actually have fewer opportunities than most of us to connect with people in a real, authentic, and fulfilling way. And being healthy and non-addictive requires making it a practice to do just that.
Shielded from Consequences
People with money, power and fame often have poor feedback networks, says Weiss. They are surrounded by people who are dependent on them for employment or security, which makes them reluctant to tell their “boss” the truth.
For example, if a famous person gets stopped for drunk driving, their drinking problem may never be revealed or addressed because his lawyer bails him out, his publicist puts a spin on the incident in the news, and the celeb walks away with their image “unscathed”, but also with a feeling of invincibility.
“What might be ‘rock bottom’ for most people may be just a slip-up for a celebrity,” says Weiss. “Public figures can exhibit warning signs of a serious problem for years but fail to see them clearly because the consequences have been minimized or someone else took responsibility.”
An Excuse for Bad Behavior?
“If most days you feel fatigued and thirsty and your solution has been to drink a six-pack of coke daily, no one would blame you for trying to use caffeine and sugar to get more energy and quench your thirst. But if you get a diagnosis of Diabetes, which turns out to have been the cause of your symptoms all along and that drinking Coke contributes to those symptoms, ignorance can no longer be an excuse for drinking all that sugary soda. Once a problem is identified – you have to take responsibly for managing it.”
The same is true of sex addiction. “If you know you’re a sex addict, you have the responsibility to attend to the problem with treatment,” states Weiss.
How Treatment Works
The media tells us stars like actors David Duchovny, Michael Douglas and actress Halle Berry’s ex-husband, Eric Benet, were admitted to treatment programs for sex addiction. What is treatment for sex and love addiction like?
Weiss, who has presented on the topic for the American Association of Sex Educators and Therapists, the National Association of Social Work, the National Institutes of Health (NIH), and the U.S. Military, believes the most important function of treatment is stopping the behavior and identifying it for what it is: a maladaptive coping mechanism or means of escape. Since sexual acting out doesn’t meet the individual’s underlying emotional needs but serves more as a distraction, good treatment can help identify and alievate the painful emptiness that drives the cyclic nature of addiction.