Sexnology: Technology’s Impact on Sex Addiction

Sexual addiction is nothing new. It’s been around since the beginning of time, most likely, though it’s only been recognized by psychotherapists and addressed as a chronic, progressive, and treatable disorder for the past 30 years or so. (Therapists have been diagnosing and treating chemical addictions for only a short while longer, though they too have been around pretty much forever.)

In the late 1990s, in conjunction with the proliferation of home computers and Internet connectivity, sexual addiction just plain took off. Since that time clinicians have witnessed a sharp and consistent rise in the number of people walking into their offices for help with problematic, out-of-control, fantasy-driven patterns of compulsive sexual activity.

Easy Access Fuels Sexual Addiction

Early on, digital pornography was usually pretty expensive, as were dating sites and most Internet-facilitated real-life hookups (travel expenses, hotel rooms, dinners, drinks, gifts, etc.). And for the most part these things were accessible only from a home computer, which often limited a person’s usage and depth of involvement.

Then we got laptops, tablets, smartphones, and wireless connections. With these technologies came things like streaming video porn sites and “adult friend finder” (sexual hookup) apps. For most people, of course, these sexnologies were nothing more than a semi-distracting outlet for pleasure, entertainment, and potential romance. For sex addicts, however, they were crack cocaine, providing instant, constant, affordable access to an almost endless array of highly stimulating sexual imagery and potential sexual partners.

For instance, streaming porn allowed sexually addicted men and women to view erotic content anytime, anywhere, no matter what. Sex addicts could sit at their desk and watch porn on their iPhone while simultaneously working on their company’s monthly performance report. Or they could surreptitiously watch hardcore sex acts while attending their kid’s soccer game. Or whatever, wherever, whenever.

All of this has been exacerbated by the advent of “user generated” pornography – everything from misappropriated sexts to surreptitiously recorded webcam exhibitions. Plus, the entrance requirements for online porn are now nonexistent. In days of yore, a user had to be at least 18 and willing to pony up with a credit card, but nowadays most porn is available for free to anyone who’s interested, regardless of age, gender, religious affiliation, sexual orientation, or anything else. Is it any wonder that porn addiction is nearly epidemic?

Hookup apps are just as dangerous. Users simply log on and their app of choice displays a grid of pictures, conveniently arranged from nearest to furthest away. Often potential sex partners are within a few hundred feet (even closer at large social venues like dance clubs, concerts, and major sporting events). All the user does is look for someone interesting, tap that person’s photo to bring up his/her profile, and express interest via text or sext. If the other person responds in kind, that’s great. If not, the user simply taps on someone else’s picture. Eventually someone will say yes. Or a user can just log on and wait for others to make first contact.

Either way, for sex addicts seeking in-person sexual encounters, there is no more fumbling around in bars, at work, or on the street hoping for mutual interest. Hookup apps are just plain faster, with a much higher probability of success. Unsurprisingly, many sex addicts leave these apps on 24/7/365 – sometimes running multiple apps simultaneously – eagerly anticipating their next sexual encounter, getting irritable if/when others aren’t contacting them or responding to their texts and sexts, and sometimes agreeing to hook up with people they don’t find attractive, to pay for sex, to exchange drugs for sex, or to meet people in locations that are inconvenient or downright dangerous.

Small Devices, Big Problems

For sex addicts, digital devices are dangerous ground – smartphones in particular because they are typically with or very near their owner at all times, presenting constant temptation. To some, it may seem as if smartphones are small devices that couldn’t possibly cause big problems, but this is most definitely not the case. The simple truth is that no matter where or how sexually addictive activity occurs, sex addicts can (and eventually do) suffer the consequences – relationship woes, trouble at work or in school, loss of interest in family, friends, and previously enjoyable activities, declining physical and/or emotional health, financial issues, legal trouble, and more.

The good news is that recovering sex addicts needn’t give up their smartphones (or any of their other digital devices). Instead, they can install filtering and accountability software programs that can prevent or at least forestall misuse. These softwares can also notify an addict’s accountability partner (usually either a 12-step sponsor or a therapist) if/when the addict attempts to access problematic websites or apps.