Prostitutes and Sensual Massage
Many sex addicts seek comfort, distraction, and intensity by going to prostitutes and “sensual” massage parlors. They will often justify the hidden involvement with prostitutes and the money spent on them with comments such as:
“At least I’m not having an affair.”
“I don’t get enough sex at home.”
“It’s just something that guys do and women don’t understand.”
“This is how I blow off steam and get my needs met while staying in my relationship/marriage.”
The number one justification for seeing prostitutes is, of course, “What my wife doesn’t know won’t hurt her.”
While these justifications may sound reasonable to a sex addict, the reality is that 15-20% of the male clients who attend sex addiction treatment have already unknowingly passed on a sexually transmitted disease (STD) such as Chlamydia or Human Papillomavirus (HPV) to an innocent wife or spouse, who may suffer greatly as a result. While some sex addicts claim to have only protected sex with prostitutes, the reality is that condoms are most often utilized when having vaginal sex because many men are apparently unaware that STDs can frequently be transmitted through unprotected oral sex.
In addition to potential disease transmission, sex addicts who visit prostitutes risk arrest and the potential ensuing public humiliation or loss of a professional career due being arrested. Seeking massages that involve sex is the same as seeing a prostitute; you are paying for sex, no matter how this is dressed-up or denied.
The attraction and involvement with this behavior can become habitual and addictive for the man (or woman) who becomes immune to living a double life of secrecy and indiscretion, while using anonymous sex to find validation and an emotional connection.
For those sex addicts addicted to visiting prostitutes, it is often the loss of relationship, disease, or arrest that finally brings them to get the help they need.
Treatment for this type of behavior can be quite effective if the client is motivated and willing. Change first occurs by helping the sex addict eliminate the behavior itself and then by introducing him to his own emotional needs and the many healthy, more intimate, non-sexual means of getting those needs met.