Gary, a 34-year-old openly gay man, believes being gay grants him license to have as much sex as possible with as many partners as he can attract, including coworkers, friends, other people’s partners and strangers. He is constantly cruising for sex everywhere he goes, whether online, at the grocery store, or in bars or sex clubs, and has lots of anonymous sex. He has tried to be in monogamous relationships, but he always ends up cheating – the other guy’s fault, of course.

Gary’s life choices have been coordinated to optimize opportunities for sex. As a result, he is single and under-employed, and was recently diagnosed HIV positive. When people express concern about his behavior, he laughs it off, believing this is the way all gay men behave. Despite his diagnosis, he continues his sexual adventuring, figuring his partners must know he’s HIV positive if they don’t ask him to use a condom.

Why He Might Seek Treatment

Gary may seek treatment for a number of reasons. One possibility is that he joins an HIV support group and begins to feel guilty for having unprotected sex with so many men. Gary may also have lost a relationship he really wanted to keep because of his chronic infidelity. All the anonymous sex he has spent his life seeking out has left him feeling lonely and sad. Finally, Gary may have a problem with crystal meth or alcohol and realizes that the cycle of rehab, hook-ups and relapse will continue until he seeks treatment for his sex addiction.