cheating spouses

Can You Trust Your Partner After Sex Addiction?

Posted on December 31st, 2014

Can You Trust Your Partner After Sex Addiction?Sex addiction is a controversial concept in the world of mental health and addiction. Some experts consider it a real disorder, while others dismiss it. The official word comes down from the guidelines in the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders, which does not include sex addiction as a diagnosable condition. If, however, your relationship and your life have been ruined by the hypersexual behavior of your partner, it can be hard to dismiss the concept too easily. What else can explain how your otherwise loving partner could sleep around with so many people?

The Shame That Lies Behind Serial Cheating

Posted on April 16th, 2014

The Shame That Lies Behind Serial CheatingAmber, who felt unloved as a child, is trapped in a cycle of cheating. She’s ashamed of her behavior, yet cheats again and again in order to feel better. By embracing the painful emotions of her past, Amber can learn self-love and self-acceptance and begin to break free from her destructive behavior.

Amber cheated in every relationship, even on her fifth-grade boyfriend. (She kissed another boy in their class while they were “going out.”) Even though most of her affairs are sexual, she says it isn’t about the sex. There’s something about the excitement that comes from getting to know someone new—flirting and chatting and receiving attention. There’s an adrenaline rush. The newness and excitement are compelling and draw her in again and again.

How Traumatic is Infidelity?

Posted on July 29th, 2013

Most sex addicts do not think about the pain they may be causing to their spouse or long-term partner. It’s not that they don’t care; it’s that they simply avoid thinking about or even considering the damage they are doing. Typically this damage occurs on two levels. First there is the pain and hurt caused by the actual infidelity, and then there is the agony caused by all the lying, secret keeping, and covering up. Oftentimes this second part, the dishonesty, is what ultimately causes the most distress to the cheated on spouse.

Sexual Addiction and the Upper Class: One Woman’s Story

Posted on June 1st, 2013

Julianne was a debutante from Alabama. She’d attended Ole Miss where she’d met her husband-to-be, as everyone knew she would. No one in her family really expected her to do anything with her English degree. Imagining Julianne as a teacher or a publisher or, for that matter, a writer, was a joke to them. No, she would do as all the women in her family going back generations had done – she would be beautiful. She might champion literacy and join the country club, certainly she’d join the Junior League. She might occasionally volunteer. Her future husband was to become a lawyer and a well-respected one, and likely a politician; he had his own family legacy to live up to after all. Julianne would play the dutiful wife. She’d make appearances in designer suits and gowns and she’d always time her hair and nail appointments correctly. She’d be masterful at entertaining guests.

More Than a Cheating Heart: What to Do When Your Husband Refuses Help for Sex Addiction

Posted on May 27th, 2011

More Than a Cheating Heart: What to Do When Your Husband Refuses Help for Sex AddictionBitter, depressed, betrayed, anxious, and fearful, feeling unloved and unlovable – all these and more are the province of the wife whose husband has sex addiction and refuses help for it. That is, it’s this way for most women. Some may feel nothing at all, having lost or deadened their emotions as a way of coping.

The Tiger Effect: The Effects of Spousal Betrayal

Posted on December 9th, 2009

Infidelity and spousal betrayal have been shoved into the spotlight with the Tiger Woods episode and the subsequent drama continuing to play out around it. Therapy experts working with betrayed spouses are evolving a deeper understanding and better tools to support  these women who are often emotionally abandoned and even blamed for their own husband’s infidelities.