A Hero’s Journey: Part 2

Posted on July 22nd, 2010

By Gregory Pospisil

When working with groups of sex addicts I often inquire if they’ve ever had any drama in their lives.  The laughter in the room this time isn’t merely a ripple, it comes on as a full-tilt wave as they all smile and nod their heads in recognition.

I ask them the definition of drama (again, it can be defined in one word).

Drama = Conflict.

The “drama” we experience in life, all stems from conflict.  While most of us, especially sex addicts, would do anything in order to avoid conflict …the paradox is…conflict is essential for us to grow.

Facing conflict is necessary in order to develop our human potential.

Take the film, STAR WARS, for example.  If Luke Skywalker had never left his home planet to fight the forces of evil in a galaxy far, far away it would have been a very dull and boring trilogy (Episodes 4-6).  Instead, as an audience, we sat riveted as we watched Luke face conflict after conflict after conflict and in the process slowly emerge into the Jedi Knight that he was meant to be.

In each and every moment of conflict something happened.  Luke was forced to take action.

There’s that word again:  Action.

We are confronted with conflict on a daily basis.  Going back to my earlier example, deciding what to do when finding a wallet on the street presents conflict…of the lower case variety.

Some Conflicts, however, merit a capital C.

While others arrive in ALL CAPS.

If you are reading this, chances are you’re in CONFLICT as a result of your sexual addiction.

And now it is time to take action.

In recovery, you will frequently encounter conflict as you face triggers and want to act out.   What are the actions you are willing to take to sustain your sexual sobriety?

The thought of remaining sexual sober for the rest of your life can be overwhelming.  Take your mind off the future and return to the present.

Remain in the here and the now…one day at a time.  Or better yet…narrow your scope even more and think of recovery as just one action at a time.  Continually ask yourself…“What’s the next best thing I need to do to stay in my recovery”?  And follow your inner voice.

If you’re unsure, check with your sponsor, your therapist, or someone from your recovery network.  Addicts are notorious for not wanting to ask for help.  But the Herculean effort of picking up the phone can be the most important action you ever take.

Let their force be with you.

From shame & pain to resilience & joy.

There's a better life beyond sex addiction & intimacy disorders. Specialized, gender-separate treatment in a ranch-style setting.

You are not alone. We can help.
The Ranch, Nunnelly, TN


Addiction & Intimacy Disorder Treatment for Women

  • Intimacy, relationship, trauma & addiction issues
  • All-women, master's level staff
  • Gender-separate program & residences

Repair your relationships. Rebuild your life.
The Right Step, Euless, TX

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