Gay Men and Sex Addiction

Once upon a time, gay men searched for sex on notorious street corners, in public parks and restrooms, in adult bookstores and theatres, in the steam room at their local gym, and, in larger cities, in certain bars and clubs. Today, however, gay men search for sex in much safer and significantly less public venues. Hustlers are found on dating and “escort” websites, porn of every ilk imaginable is readily available on the Internet, mutual masturbation occurs via webcams, and casual or anonymous hookups occur via smartphone “friend finder” apps. And in many respects Western gay culture strongly encourages such activity, perhaps as a positive (out and proud) reaction to growing up in a shame-based, homophobic society.

Women Can Become Addicted to Cybersex, Too

Charlotte came from one of those respectable Southern families where impeccable manners and genteel appearances were more important even than money, though that was certainly important too. In Charlotte’s world, women wore white lace, but never after Labor Day, and everything, even one’s bed sheets and bathrobes, were monogrammed, lest one forget the importance of the family name.

Charlotte played her part like any Southern daughter—she came out as a debutante, took tea at the club with the ladies, and rushed the right sorority house in college, the right college, naturally. By all appearances, she was lovely and prim but never stiff, and her parents were delighted to call her theirs. They were even more delighted when she married a promising young attorney and moved to Birmingham with plans to start a family. But Charlotte’s marriage wasn’t as perfect as everyone thought. Her husband was far more interested in working in every last billable hour so that he could make his way to partner as soon as possible. He’d more or less taken Charlotte on because she looked pretty on his arm and knew how to throw a party, and she knew it. They had almost nothing in common except childhoods spent in Destin condominiums—until their parents mutually decided Destin was no longer the place to summer.