Our book selections are for you, for your partner, and for professionals seeking more information about intimacy disorders, cheating, porn and sex addiction. We also have a general interest section which references books that may be helpful to all.

Recommended Reading for You

Out of the Shadows: Understanding Sexual Addiction
by Patrick Carnes, Ph.D.
Hazelden Information Education, 2001
This is the landmark book introducing and legitimizing sexual behaviors and sexual fantasies as an addictive disease. Dr. Carnes proposes three levels of sexual addiction, describes the addiction cycle and its progression, and presents the faulty core beliefs of the addict and the coaddict and their healthy counterparts.


Your Sexually Addicted Spouse: How Partners Can Cope and Heal
by Barbara Steffens
New Horizon Press, 2009
Sexual addictions and compulsive sexual behavior are growing societal problems, with as many as three to six percent of the world population affected. Your Sexually Addicted Partner shatters the stigma and shame that millions of men and women carry when their partners are sexually addicted. They receive little empathy for their pain, which means they suffer alone, often shocked and isolated by the trauma. Barbara Steffens’ groundbreaking new research shows that partners are not codependents but post-traumatic stress victims, while Marsha Means’ personal experience provides insights, strategies, and critical steps to recognize, deal with, and heal partners of sexually addicted relationships. Firsthand accounts and stories reveal the impact of this addiction on survivors’ lives. Chapters end with “On a Personal Note” questions and propose new paths that lead from trauma to empowerment, health, and hope. Useful appendices list health and mental health care providers and clergy.

This book addresses the needs and concerns of all sexual addicts, regardless of their sexual orientation, and also of the addict’s codependent partner. The authors explore the causes and symptoms of sex addiction. They also include a comprehensive and practical approach to recovery for the addict and family.

Answers in the Heart: Daily Meditations
Hazelden Information Education, 1995
The best daily meditation book for sex addicts available. One of the first books sex addicts should purchase.

This was one of the first books to comprehensively describe the application of the Twelve Steps of Alcoholics Anonymous to sexual addiction and compulsivity. It also includes a wide range of personal stories in which recovering sexual addicts share their experience, strength and hope.

Women, Sex, and Addiction: A Search for Love and Power
by Charlotte Davis Kasl, Ph.D.
HarperCollins, 1990
This book is a major contribution to the understanding and healing of sex addiction, romance addiction and sexual codependency in women. It is full of wisdom and insight, shedding light on what happens to women in our society, how they survive it, and some roads to self-respect.

Ready to Heal can help you if you’re struggling in a relationship with a sex addict, facing your own sex addiction, obsessing about someone who doesn’t want you, or if you’re looking for deeper understanding of your romantic patterns. At its core, love and sex addiction is a longing for intimacy.

Don’t Call It Love: Recovery from Sexual Addiction
by Patrick Carnes, Ph.D.
Bantam Books, 1992
Based on research involving over 1,000 recovering sex addicts and coaddicts, this comprehensive work outlines the stages of recovery and presents advice from the addicts and coaddicts themselves as they work to overcome their compulsive behavior. Recommended both for counselors and for recovering people.

A step-by-step writing/journaling book for those wanting help working though the 12 steps. Simplistic for some, helpful to others, this is an effective way to get through the written part of the step process.

From Generation to Generation: Understanding Sexual Attraction to Children
by Anne Stirling Hastings, Ph.D.
Wellness Institute, 2000
A helpful explanation of one of humankind’s most difficult problems by one of the best authorities.

This is the first workbook on the Twelve Steps specifically designed with sex addicts and coaddicts in mind. It offers comprehensive and practical exercises for each of the twelve steps for anyone for anyone working a sexual recovery program.

Twelve Steps. Twelve Traditions. And yes, Twelve Principles. The Steps outline the actions that lead to extraordinary healing. The Traditions exist as guides to the functioning of the Fellowship. Embedded in both is a series of Principles by which to measure your progress.

Facing the Shadow: Starting Sexual and Relationship Recovery
by Patrick Carnes, Ph.D.
Gentle Path Press, 2008
Facing the Shadow is the innovative workbook that helps readers begin meaningful recovery from an often misunderstood addiction. This book guides readers through the first seven tasks in Dr. Patrick Carnes’ researched-based thirty-task model of treatment—the most respected therapy model available for treating sex addicts.

Many Roads, One Journey: Moving Beyond the Twelve Steps
by Charlotte Davis Kasl, Ph.D.
Harper Perennial, 1992
From the author of Women, Sex, and Addiction, a timely and controversial second look at 12-step programs, helping all readers to draw on the steps’ underlying wisdom, adapting them to their own experiences, beliefs, and sources of strength.

Recommended Reading for Your Partner


Facing Heartbreak: Steps to Recovery for Partners of Sex Addicts
by Stefanie Carnes
Gentle Path Press, 2012
Facing Heartbreak weaves real life stories with practical therapeutic advice and specific tasks that gently educate, empower, and guide the partner of the sex addict through a process of recovery. Using Dr. Patrick Carnes’ thirty-task sex recovery model, readers will learn to heal from the heartbreak and betrayal as they discover hope and healing.


Mending a Shattered Heart: A Guide for Partners of Sex Addicts
by Stefanie Carnes
Gentle Path Press, 2011
Experts now know that discovering a loved one’s sex addiction is a traumatic event, requiring specialized guidance. This second edition of Mending a Shattered Heart reframes the therapeutic discussion around how to decide to stay with or leave a sex addict and how to address common questions that partners have.


Intimate Treason: Healing the Trauma for Partners Confronting Sex Addiction
by Claudia Black, PhD
Central Recovery Press, 2012
Those in an intimate relationship with someone struggling with sex addiction will find hope and relief as they work through the exercises in this self-help workbook. They will also develop a better understanding of what is happening in their lives and find a path to healing and recovery.

This is the book that propelled Pia Melody into international prominence as an expert on the family dynamics of addiction. Articulative and reflective, she argues that addicts and family members share the same history and characteristics.

Is It Love or Is It Addiction
by Brenda Schaeffer, Ph.D.
Hazelden Information Education, 1997
Is It Love or Is It Addiction has helped many people find their way from the fear and distrust in poor relationships to the fulfillment in meaningful ones. Psychotherapist Brenda Schaeffer draws on common sense, compassion, and years of experience to provide tools for moving from addictive to healthy love.

Codependent No More: How to Stop Controlling Others and Start Caring for Yourself
by Melody Beattie
Hazelden Information Education, 1996
Recovery has begun for millions of individuals with this straightforward guide. Through personal examples and exercises, readers are shown how controlling others forces them to lose sight of their own needs and happiness.

Healing the Shame That Binds You
by John Bradshaw
Health Communications, 1988
John Bradshaw has many talents. One of them is synthesizing complex issues so the average person can make progress. Since shame is a core issue for recovering people, this book has been a marvelous resource for feeling better.

Back From Betrayal: Recovering from the Trauma of Infidelity
by Jennifer Schneider, M.D.
CreateSpace Independent Publishing Platform, 2015
Author Jennifer P. Schneider, MD, broke new ground in Back from Betrayal as one of the first to address sex addiction in relationships, as well as the traumatic experiences faced by the partners of men and women who compulsively lie and cheat.

Sex, Lies & Forgiveness: Couples Speak on Healing from Sex Addiction
by Jennifer Schneider, M.D. and Burt Schneider
Jennifer Schneider, 1999
First-hand information and healing words from couples dealing with the challenges of sex addiction recovery.

Letters To A Sex Addict: The Journey through Grief and Betrayal
by Wendy Conquest
CreateSpace Independent Publishing Platform, 2013

Surviving Disclosure: A Partner’s Guide for Healing the Betrayal of Intimate Trust
by Jennifer P. Schneider M.D. and M. Deborah Corley Ph.D.
CreateSpace Independent Publishing Platform, 2012

Disclosing Secrets: An Addict’s Guide for When, to Whom, and How Much to Reveal
by M. Deborah Corley Ph.D. and Jennifer P. Schneider M.D
CreateSpace Independent Publishing Platform, 2012

Erotic Intelligence: Igniting Hot, Healthy Sex While in Recovery from Sex Addiction
by Alexandra Katehakis, MFT
Amazon Digital Services, 2010
In the journey to sexual sobriety, many sex addicts find themselves wondering, ‘How am I going to have a normal relationship?’ or ‘Will it be possible to repair my marriage now that I’ve confessed my destructive behavior?’ and ‘Will I ever have great sex again?’

Mirror of Intimacy: Daily Reflections on Emotional and Erotic Intelligence
by Alexandra Katehakis, MFT
CreateSpace Independent Publishing Platform, 2014
WINNER: 2015 AASECT Book of the Year Award! Increase your sexual potential to connect on a deeper level with your mate. This award-winning book is for anyone with a desire for more loving relationships and greater self-love.

Recommended Reading for the Professional

Understanding and Treating Sex Addiction
by Paula Hall
Routledge, 2012
Understanding and Treating Sex Addiction explains why an increasing number of people are inadvertently finding their lives devastated by their sexual behaviors. It explores the latest scientific understandings and research into why pornography, cybersex, visiting sex workers, fetishes and multiple affairs can come to control some people’s lives to the point that they can’t stop. It explains how sex addiction is not a moral issue, as some assume, but a health issue that we as a society need to start taking seriously.

Sex Addiction: Case Studies and Management
by Ralph H. Earle, Ph.D. and Marcus R. Earle, Ph.D.
Brunner-Routledge, 1995
Written for the professional who treats sex addiction, this book describes a comprehensive treatment program for the addict and family. It is highly recommended for professionals.

Sexual Addiction: An Integrated Approach
by Aviel Goodman, M.D.
International Universities Press, 1998
Goodman presents an extensively documented and very scholarly examination of the causes of sexual addiction along with a sampling of treatment approaches, including his preferred approach. Intended for the well-educated reader. buy this book »

Treating Addicted Survivors of Trauma
by Katie Evans and J. Michael Sullivan
Guilford Press, 1994

A well-referenced, practical therapeutic method for engaging, understanding and treating this population. This book incorporates the best of addiction treatment and therapy technique.

Contrary to Love: Helping the Sexual Addict
by Patrick Carnes, Ph.D.
Hazelden Information Education, 1989
In this sequel to Out of the Shadows, Dr. Carnes adds to his original descriptions of sex addiction, describing the stages of the illnesses. He presents here his Sexual Addiction Screening test, useful to therapists and addicts alike.

Facing the Shadow: Starting Sexual and Relationship Recovery
by Patrick Carnes, Ph.D.
Hazelden Information Education, 2001
A step-by-step, task-oriented model of how to manage sex addiction recovery for both individuals and professionals.

Sex and the Internet: A Guide Book for Clinicians
by Al Cooper, Ph.D.
Brunner-Routledge, 2002
A compendium of articles by professionals in the field addressing the challenges of internet sexuality.

Clinical Management of Sex Addiction
by Patrick Carnes, Ph.D. and Ken Adams, Ph.D.
Brunner-Routledge, 2002
A collection of professional journal articles and essays on the treatment of sexual addiction.

General Interest Reading

The Courage to Heal: A Guide for Women Survivors of Child Sexual Abuse
by Ellen Bass and Laura Davis
Harper Perennial, 1994
The classic and definitive self-help guide for women survivors of sexual abuse, The Courage To Heal is a tool for recovery that works.

Your Erroneous Zones

by Wayne W. DyerHarper Mass Market Paperbacks, 1993
A guide to living a fuller, happier life from one of the most widely read authors in the field of self-help.

Craving for Ecstasy: How Our Passions Become Addictions and What We Can Do About Them
by Harvey B. Milkman and Stanley G. Sunderwirth
Jossey-Bass, 1998
The authors describe the variety of addictive ways individuals lose control of their lives while striving for pleasure and escape. The biological, chemical, sociological and psychological processes of addiction are explained in understandable terms.

Author, Ken Adams, is one of those rare combinations of competence as a writer, clinician and researcher. This book is developing a loyal readership fast, which is probably because Ken is one of the more astute observers of the connections between shame, abuse and sex addiction.

The Return of the Prodigal Son: A Story of Homecoming
by Henri J.M. Nouwen
Image Books, 1994
Henri Nouwen has written a number of classics in spiritual growth. This recent book is very helpful. The comparison of the prodigal son to addicts and the eldest son to co-addicts is an obvious one to make. Nouwen says the eldest son is as wounded as the prodigal. A good book for those in recovery for a while.

Westminster John Knox Press, 1996Over this past year, this book has generated a lot of controversy. The author is a knowledgeable scholar as well as a gay man who is one of the few to critique and take a concrete approach to spirituality and ethics in the sexual realm. He connects all forms of oppression to issues of sexual morality. In doing so, he challenges all of us. For those who think seriously about sex and ethics, it is a must read.

One of the great classics in self-help literature, and, perhaps, someday will be regarded as one of the most important works of the century. Still a best-seller, it has proved that the idea of becoming a person of integrity can endure.

Mellody’s new meditation book is really well done. A wise woman who has survived tragedy and continues to help all of us. For recovering people looking for something new this is a good choice.

Reaching Out: The Three Movements of Spiritual Life
by Henri J.M. Nouwen
Image Books, 1986
This is the famous Dutch theology classic on developing a spiritual life. Great reading for those seeking more spiritual direction.

Covey’s book has been helpful to millions and is one of the best guides to living a successful life. For recovering people who wish to go beyond sobriety this book really helps!

People of the Lie: Toward a Psychology of Evil
by M. Scott Peck
Touchstone Books, 1997
This is Scott Peck’s classic work on being around toxic people. It continues the basic themes of The Road Less Traveled and explores what happens when there is no integrity.

The Paradigm Conspiracy: How Our Systems of Government, Church, School, and Culture Violate Our Human Potential
by Denise Breton, Christopher Largent and Steve Lehman
Hazelden Information Education, 1998
One of the most important books from 1996. The authors connect the dots between recovery, feminism, native American spirituality, therapy and ecology. What emerges is looming social change for all of us.

Artist’s Way, A Spiritual Path to Higher Creativity
by Julia Cameron
J. P. Tarcher, 2002
A wonderful and helpful book. For addicts, co-dependents and trauma victims, this book helps reclaim vital creativity that has been lost. Good for anyone who has great ideas but has trouble taking them further.

A great book on putting order in your life and achieving what you want to do. His stories and principles make sense. For recovering people, this book serves as a real help after sobriety has been established.

This is the book that started recovery for many members of Debtors Anonymous. Well written, clear and practical, it helps those starting financial recovery.

The Money Drunk: 90 Days to Financial Freedom
by Mark Bryan and Julia Cameron
Ballantine Books, 1999
An extremely insightful book, Bryan and Cameron have helped many people achieve financial viability. The authors do an excellent job of connecting financial disorders with other addictive disorders including sex.

A recovery classic. Written in novel form, it is one of the most helpful metaphors for developing balance and perspective.

For adults who are loved “too much” by their parents, this book has been extraordinarily helpful. . Pat Love is an excellent teacher and writer.

What Your Mother Never Told You About Sex
by Hilda Hutcherson, M.D.
Perigee, 2003
An engaging women’s viewpoint answering any and all questions about healthy sexuality.

In this groundbreaking new book, bestselling author Terrence Real analyzes the crisis in intimate relations and offers a radical new vision of love and the practical tools with which to achieve it.

A victim of low sex drive herself, Corn speaks with conviction and empathy about the perils of lust in long-term relationships and cooks up a 28-day plan for committed couples who hunger for the fiery “honeymoon phase” of their relationship.

A complete guide to a healthy sex life for people of all ages and sexual orientations, written in a friendly, inclusive and nonjudgmental style.

Making Love Again: Hope for Couples Facing Loss of Sexual Intimacy
by Virginia Laken and Keith Laken
North Star Publications, 2002
Virginia and Keith Laken’s eminently readable story details the arguments and the frustration they experienced in dealing with his impotence. At the same time, it also gives readers a great deal of hope.

A revolutionary guide for people searching to enrich their relationships with a more profound and intimate experience of love.

From shame & pain to resilience & joy.

There's a better life beyond sex addiction & intimacy disorders. Specialized, gender-separate treatment in a ranch-style setting.

You are not alone. We can help.
The Ranch, Nunnelly, TN


Addiction & Intimacy Disorder Treatment for Women

  • Intimacy, relationship, trauma & addiction issues
  • All-women, master's level staff
  • Gender-separate program & residences

Repair your relationships. Rebuild your life.
The Right Step, Euless, TX

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