For Gay Men With Sexual Addiction
If you think you might be a sex addict or have a hypersexual disorder, you may want to take our confidential Sex Addiction Screening quiz. Click HERE for the Men’s Screening Quiz.
Gay male sex addicts are not compulsively sexual because of their sexual orientation. Rather, they are compulsively sexual in response to their individual emotional/psychological issues and/or their biological predisposition towards addiction. These are similar reasons why heterosexual male sex addicts are compulsively sexual. In other words, sexual orientation and sexual addiction are unrelated.
In truth, heterosexual male sex addicts tend to act out in similar ways as gay sex addicts. They do so in slightly different settings, and they choose women rather than men to look at and/or hook up with. For example, gay male sex addicts use Grindr and Scruff to locate sex partners, whereas heterosexual male sex addicts use Blender and Ashley Madison. Gay and straight pornography addicts also act out in similar ways, “losing themselves” in a seemingly endless array of increasingly accessible and affordable graphic imagery. And, gay or straight, the goal is generally the same: no strings attached sexual activity (e.g., porn, webcam sex, virtual reality sex, anonymous sex) used to avoid stress, emotional discomfort, and the pain of underlying psychological disorders such as depression, anxiety and unresolved early-life trauma.
Research suggests that approximately 10 percent of gay men may be sexually addicted. This number may seem low to some compulsively sexual gay men because these individuals tend to surround themselves with other gay men who are acting out sexually. As such, to many gay sex addicts it looks like absolutely everyone is a guest at the never-ending sex party. Even gay male sex addicts who isolate themselves (by only acting out online or compulsively masturbating in private settings) see a densely populated sex culture (e.g., porn, chat rooms, virtual sex worlds, hookup apps) when they service their addiction.
Gay male sex addicts often struggle with multiple addictions. Alcohol and methamphetamine are the substances most commonly abused by gay male sex addicts. Meth abuse is particularly troublesome because its long-term side effects are so debilitating. Nevertheless, this drug is often the preferred party favor for anonymous sexual activity in bathhouses, sex clubs, and via hookup websites and apps. This is because meth creates a sense of euphoria, intensity and power, as well as the drive to obsessively do whatever activity the user wishes to engage in, including having sex. People using meth have reported being sexual for an entire day, even two or three, without sleeping, eating or coming down. Making matters worse is the fact that disinhibiting substances (such as meth and alcohol) increase the risk for unsafe sex and STDs, including HIV.
If you want to learn more about sexual addiction in the gay community, you may want to read Cruise Control: Understanding Sex Addiction in Gay Men, written by the Sexual Recovery Institute’s founder, Robert Weiss. Or you can call us at 877-959-4114. You may not want to talk about it, but reaching out is the first step toward getting the help you need.