Sexually Addicted vs. Sexually Codependent

The perfect romantic drama—a billion dollar industry in film and a perennially popular book genre for women—has the right amount of desire, the perfect portion of sex, and far more fantasy than fact. These dramas turn on women finding and maintaining power while managing to reveal themselves as vulnerable in a way that doesn’t put men off. Popular culture is rife with women, household names, some of them legendary icons, whose personal trade is upholding the picture of male longing and female aspiration—from yesterday’s Marilyn Monroe to today’s Scarlett Johansson. These stories and these stars are so popular perhaps because they are vessels of a cultural obsession about what a woman should hope for, be and come to possess.

Sex Addicts and “Gaslighting”

When dealing with sexual addiction, it is important to recognize the damage that sex addicts do to the people around them, especially if the addict is married or in an otherwise committed and supposedly monogamous long-term romantic relationship. One of the ways in which sex addicts commonly harm their partners is unofficially known as “gaslighting.” Gaslighting is a form of psychological abuse where false information is presented, usually repeatedly, causing the victimized partner to doubt his or her perception, memory, judgment, and even sanity.

How Much Porn Before You’re a Sex Addict?

Many people want to understand pornography addiction, perhaps when trying to evaluate a loved one, or when trying to understand their own behavior. But “how much porn before you’re a sex addict?” may be the wrong question. Perhaps in our search to understand pornography addiction, we should be asking not about quantity, but about the relationship between the viewer and pornography use.

Gay Men and Sexual Addiction

Carlos had heard the term “sex addiction” before and summarily dismissed it. It must have been created by people, probably by corporations, who wanted to deny individuals’ their sexual freedoms. Anyone who looked down on others’ sexual rights was anathema to him; he dismissed them outright. He’d already had enough of his family’s conservative religious attitudes and their beliefs about his sexual orientation—he had no more chosen to be gay than he had chosen to be Floridian. Their repeated rejection had all been incredibly painful for him, so when Carlos finally left home in order to pursue his own life, he promised himself never again to compromise his own values. He would be out and he would be proud.

Sex Addiction: An Imperfect Path to Recovery

Tandi sat on a bench in Central Park with Beth, her sponsor, beside her. The usual parade of nannies with strollers and joggers with iPods passed them by while Tandi cried, oblivious. Beth was breaking up with her; she said she couldn’t be her sponsor anymore. Tandi thought she understood. She hadn’t worked any of the steps in over a year. She’d been lying to Tandi—something she’d sworn she’d never do. And she was not only breaking several rules of their particular Sex Addiction Anonymous group, but she’d been “playing fast and loose,” according to Beth, with the bottom line behaviors they’d drafted for Tandi.

Could my alcoholic or drug addicted client also be a sex addict?

Sometimes it is difficult to see tell tale signs of sex addiction. There are specific behaviors that one should look out for when treating CD clients. For example, CD clients who are sex addicts may tend to dress a little more provocative in treatment even after they have been told to cover up or clients might exhibit behaviors such as starting “special relationships” with staff members or clients within your practice.

Dysfunctional but useful affirmations

A recent survey proves a great need for sexual addiction treatment

In a recent member survey, the American Academy of Healthcare Providers in the Addictive Disorders quoted the following among their members who responded:

Tormented about whether to conceal or reveal a secret?

Debunking myths about sex workers

By Korina Jochim, MA, MFT-I

Recently, I had the opportunity to present during the 2010 Society for the advancement of Sexual Health Conference (SASH) in Boston, along with four of SRI’s sexual addiction specialists. The annual conference drew professionals from both the U.S. and international programs who want to continue their education in the emerging field of sexual addiction.  My presentation, “Addicted to ‘The Life’? Debunking myths about sex workers, who they are, and how to treat them,” covered a topic that those in our field are not as familiar with.