Technology and Sexual Addiction
These days, virtually everyone owns a computer, laptop, pad, smartphone, or some other mobile device. Digital interaction is an integral part of our everyday routine. We check emails and texts, update our Facebook page, fire off a tweet or two, and then we think about eating breakfast. Digital interconnectivity provides endless new opportunities that support our very human needs for community and social interaction. We make friends, we share our experiences, we celebrate, and we commiserate – one world, a growing interactive community.
Unfortunately, for individuals predisposed to addictive and impulsive behavior patterns, digital technology brings as many opportunities for disconnection as connection. Sex and love addicts find it incredibly easy to dissociate from uncomfortable emotions and life stressors by accessing intensely stimulating online pornography and/or any number of readily available anonymous, casual, or paid for sexual partners. These sex partners can be engaged with either online (via webcam) or in person. Sex and love addicts use and abuse the many forms of digital “sexnology” not as a pleasurable distraction (as healthy people do) but as a means of escaping uncomfortable emotions and other life stressors. Over time, such behavior inevitably leads to profoundly negative relationship, career, emotional, physical, and sometimes even legal consequences.
It used to be that if you wanted to look at porn, you had to get dressed, get in your car, drive to a seedy shop in a bad part of town, and fork over hard-earned cash for an overpriced magazine. Today, however, sex addicts find porn without even getting out of bed. Affordable access to stimulating sexual imagery of ever ilk imaginable is virtually unlimited, easily and instantly downloaded – and more often than not it’s free. Technological advances have also facilitated access to sexual hookups, extramarital affairs, and prostitution. Relying on the same smartphone technology used to find a nearby sushi restaurant, so called “adult friend finder” apps allow sex and love addicts to instantly geo-locate potential acting out partners. Not surprisingly, these sex locater apps have quickly become the crack cocaine of sexual addiction. Even seemingly benign sites/apps such as Facebook can be problematic for sex and love addicts. In fact, social media sites are increasingly described as a primary (and socially acceptable) location for sex and love addicts to peruse intimate photos, gain personal information, seek out hot chats, and arrange for virtual or in-person sexual encounters.
Needless to say, as anonymous online connection to sexually explicit content and willing sexual partners has increased, so too has sexual and romantic addiction. The faster an individual can access pornography and sexual partners, the easier it is to act out and disconnect from life with sexual activity and/or romantic intrigue.
Happily, the news is not all bad. As the Internet has evolved, so too has public awareness of the problems it can cause. And new technologies are also being utilized toward positive change. Websites for 12-step sex and love addiction support groups offer similar information, along with meeting information, phone support lists, and social support. Apps are being created and utilized to help addicts of all types stay sober, and they can be uploaded to almost any digital device, usually for free. So as readily as you can use the Internet to search for porn and anonymous sex, you can also utilize it find individuals skilled in sex addiction treatment, educational materials, and routes to healing.