Myths About Sex Addiction Part I
Myth: Someone with good morals wouldn’t have this problem.
You are not a sex addict because your morals or ethics differ from the moral beliefs of others. However, you may be a sex addict if your sexual behavior often takes you outside of your own system of values and beliefs, leaving you feeling badly about yourself and your relationships. Consistently going outside of your own moral comfort zone in pursuit of a sexual high is one of the warning signs of sexual addiction. Sex addicts don’t betray partners and loved ones or violate their own personal belief systems because they are immoral people. Anyone in the compulsive throes of an addiction, whether it is a substance or behavior based problem, can act in ways contrary to their usual character and beliefs.
Myth: People who have good religious values and truly believe in God don’t act out sexually.
No one becomes a sex addict because he or she doesn’t have a sufficiently strong religious belief system. You aren’t a sex addict because you don’t have sex according to biblical scripture or because you don’t follow one particular religion over another.
Myth: Only men can be sexually addicted.
About 10-15% of those seeking help with a sexual addiction problem are women. Unfortunately, it is more difficult for woman to seek treatment, as it is more shameful for a woman to speak out about having had a lot of sex than it is for a man to do so. Although men pursuing a sexual high are often focused on visual images and erotica, women tend to be looking for a more relationship-oriented experience. Sexually addicted women in treatment talk about the driving need they felt to find someone to “complete them,” that their sexual acting out behavior was often driven by paralyzing feelings of loneliness.
Myth: All gay men are sex addicts.
Sex and love addiction is not just a problem among gay men. These diagnoses are as widespread and problematic among straight men and bi-sexuals as they are among gays. Heterosexual male sex addicts act out in many of the same ways gay men do; they just act out in different settings and choose women rather than men to play with. Gay men go to sex clubs, straight men go to strip clubs; gay men go to bathhouses, straight men hire prostitutes and meet them in motel rooms. There is plenty of acting out among bisexuals and male-identified transsexuals as well. In fact, the similarities between gay and straight sex addicts are much more apparent than their differences.