Tormented about whether to conceal or reveal a secret?

Posted on October 19th, 2010

Most healthy adults enjoy sex. And some people enjoy sex simply as a form of recreation or distraction.  Both single and married adults may occasionally or frequently view porn, have sexual dalliances, affairs or even see prostitutes without it being a problem for them. Right or wrong it’s not anyone’s job to call these people ’sex addicts’ or to judge their sexuality or relationships. That is their business.  However, for approximately 3-8% of the adult population having recreational sex – this is not a good thing.

Single, dating or married, when these people begin having disconnected intense sexual experiences, especially sex that involves secrecy or shame, they also begin to experience negative consequences. Once these particular individuals start using sex as a means of emotional distraction or recreation they have trouble stopping. We call these people sex addicts. And unlike the rest of us, when sex addicts have sex primarily for recreation and emotional distraction their sexual choices can end up destroying their families, careers, reputations and relationships.

Secrecy has always been a hallmark of sex addiction and most people are keeping a major secret from at least one other person – whether it be from their therapist or loved ones.

CLICK HERE to read Psychology Today’s “Four Steps to Sensible Revealing” – a decision tree devised by a psychologist who has extensively studied secret-keeping. This will help you reach a decision about whether to tell the person.

 

From shame & pain to resilience & joy.

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