The Effects of PTSD on Relationships
Post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) can result from living through combat, being the victim of a violent crime, experiencing a devastating disaster and other traumatizing incidents. The condition has serious implications not only for the person who survives these traumas, but often for those closest to the survivor as well. PTSD negatively impacts relationships in terms of intimacy, trust, effective communication and the ability to strategize toward problem resolution. If you or someone you love is living with PTSD here are some things to keep in mind.
1. The person with PTSD frequently is uninterested in social activities and interactions. He/she may seem emotionally unavailable and even avoid sexual relations with the marriage partner. PTSD patients often describe themselves as feeling emotionally numb. This can feel like rejection to others.
2. The PTSD patient struggles with trust. The person is afraid to express the love they feel, so family and friends can feel walled-off. When intimacy does occur it may be punctuated by violent words or behaviors. Victims of violence often repeat the actions with others. This too may lead the PTSD sufferer to isolate him/herself from others.
3. PTSD is marked by a person’s heightened sense of vigilance. The person is always on alert. He/she may be easily startled or angered. They cannot seem to unwind and enjoy social engagement. An aura of tension continually surrounds them. This puts obvious tension on those closest to the sufferer.
4. The person who survives violent trauma can be troubled by nightmares. At best, he/she experiences trouble sleeping. This makes it hard for couples to continue sleeping together.
5. Not only nighttime dreams, but daytime flashbacks and memories haunt the PTSD patient. The person will go to great lengths to avoid things which remind them of their trauma. Those around the person can feel like they are walking on eggshells, never knowing what might trigger a memory or when danger will erupt.
6. Because the person is so intent upon vigilance and avoidance issues, they cannot give full attention to daily concerns. This means that they do not contribute in a meaningful way to family discussions and find it difficult to take part in family decisions. It is very difficult to talk to a person whose mind is on potential dangers and who is prone to sudden angry outbursts.
7. This all means that the person(s) closest to the PTSD patients can themselves feel somewhat traumatized. It isn’t actual PTSD, but those closest can definitely feel drained, anxious and even depressed as a result.
While there are definite challenges to relationships which come as a result of PTSD, there is every reason to hang in there and keep working to make things better. The PTSD patient may isolate themselves, but you can continue to include them and speak with them as though they are part of a relationship. Give them opportunities to serve others and learn to focus outwardly. Try to lighten the mood and always speak lovingly and supportively. Develop a strong support network for yourself and your loved one. PTSD is treatable and relationships can do more than survive – they can become stronger as you walk the road to recovery together.