Sex Addiction: Real Disease, Real Consequences

Sex addiction is among the most widely misunderstood of all addictions. Onlookers figure, "Sex is a basic human need. How bad could it be?"

To the person who cruises for prostitutes every night, makes repeated sexual innuendos to a co-worker, downloads hard-core porn at work or posts explicit photos to websites like Ashley Madison using the same computer as their spouse, sex addiction is every bit as destructive as an addiction to heroin might be. Here are some of the very serious consequences of sex addiction:

Poor Mental Health
When acting out, sex addicts often report feeling anxious, depressed, numb or zoned out. Sex addicts often have underlying mood or anxiety disorders that they are trying to medicate with the dopamine rush from compulsive sexual behaviors. An estimated 80 percent report a history of sexual abuse.

Shame, hopelessness, going against personal morals and values, and low self-esteem perpetuate the cycle, sometimes leading to suicidal thoughts. Studies indicate that as many as 75 percent of sex addicts report having thoughts about committing suicide.

The emotional pain that accompanies sex addiction may also prompt other addictive or compulsive behaviors. By some estimates, more than 80 percent of sex addicts struggle with drug or alcohol addiction, eating disorders or compulsive gambling. Left untreated, these addictions can exacerbate sexual acting out, and unaddressed sex addiction can increase the risk of relapse into drug use.

Broken Relationships
The number-one reason people seek treatment for sexual addiction is pressure or an ultimatum from a spouse or partner. After contracting a disease or discovering that a spouse is having repeated affairs, visiting prostitutes or compulsively using porn, a spouse may say it’s treatment or divorce.

In one study, 40 percent of sex addicts reported severe relationship problems. The betrayal that goes along with sex addiction can cause severe stress, trauma and loss of self-esteem for both partners. Some spouses of sex addicts turn to drugs, alcohol, spending or other compulsive behaviors to cope with the pain of betrayal and the overwhelming burden of fulfilling the responsibilities of both partners.

The relationship between spouses/partners isn’t the only one that suffers. Sex addicts may withdraw from their relationships with their parents, siblings, friends and co-workers. In addition, their children are at greater risk of parental abuse or neglect, and may be exposed to porn or other explicit content at an early age. Studies show that this kind of early exposure to sexualized material can lead to serious mental and behavioral problems later in life. In spite of their love for their families, sex addiction drives its victims to hurt the people they care about most.

Legal Violations
Getting arrested is another consequence that drives people to seek help for sex addiction. Studies have shown that 58 percent of sex addicts report engaging in some type of illegal activity. Behaviors that may start as innocently as occasional pornography use or a quick visit to an online chat room escalate to more dangerous behaviors. As a result, sex addicts may find themselves getting sued for sexual harassment or going to jail for viewing illegal porn. In extreme cases, sex addicts may engage in sexual offenses such as the use of child porn, voyeurism or exhibitionism.

Sexually Transmitted Disease and other Health Problems
Getting a disease as a result of compulsive sexual behavior can be a wake-up call that the addict’s problem has gotten out of control. In addition to the possibility of contracting a sexually transmitted disease, the addict may injure their genitals (for example, through compulsive masturbation), get into a drunk driving or texting while driving accident, or experience health problems related to the stress of living a double life.

Financial Problems
Financing a double life can get expensive. Prostitutes, affair partners, legal representation and other expenses can bankrupt individuals and families. In studies, 60 percent of addicts reported financial difficulties as a result of their compulsive behavior.

Loss of Employment
In addition to being costly, maintaining a double life is time-consuming. While many people assume sex addicts are driven by the act of sex, the "high" comes largely from planning and preparing for their next encounter. Eventually, the addict may become consumed by the search for sex, failing to fulfill their responsibilities at work and sacrificing their job, reputation and professional license to fuel their addiction.

Although it is the subject of frequent mockery, sex addiction is no joke. Addicts desperately want to stop but can’t. Continuing to act out sexually in spite of these negative consequences is a hallmark of sex addiction. Like other addictions, compulsive sexual behavior escalates over time and rarely goes away on its own. Fortunately, success rates are high for those who reach out for help.