Getting Treated for Sex Addiction as a Woman
Sexual addiction is a serious problem that afflicts many people. Although not all experts in the mental health profession consider it a true addiction like alcoholism, sex addiction is very real. Whether you call it sex addiction, sexual compulsion, or a sexual behavior disorder, it describes someone who obsesses over acts, behaviors, and other things sexual.
If you are a woman and you struggle with the compulsion to seek out sex, you are not alone. Although many people assume sex addiction is a man’s disease, this simply is not true. Women can become addicted to sex just as much as men can. The difference may be that more men seek treatment. Women may be more ashamed to admit having such a problem and may never seek help for it. If you are struggling with this problem, or you know a woman close to you who is, there are ways to get help and treatment.
What is Sex Addiction?
Sex addiction is a casual term for what most experts call hypersexual disorder. Like any other addiction, it is characterized by seeking out a “drug” over and over again, in spite of the harm it causes. In the case of sex addiction, the drug is anything sexual. It does not even have to be actual intercourse. It can be pornography, erotic online chat rooms, or any other type of sexual behavior. Just like with a substance abuse, the person who has a sex addiction cannot stop doing it without experiencing intense cravings for more. Also like substance abuse, getting over sex addiction requires treatment.
How Do I Know if I Have a Problem?
If you have a problem with sex, it probably started out innocently enough. Maybe you began enjoying sex and felt like having a random one night stand or two. Then it became one a week, or two per week, until you felt like you could not relax until you had sex with someone. When seeking sex or some type of sexual activity begins to become the major focus of your life, you have a problem. Another important sign that you have a problem is that getting sex causes issues. For instance, if you are ruining your relationship or slipping at work, it is becoming an addiction.
How Do Women Get Help for Sex Addiction?
As a woman with a sex addiction, you might feel ashamed and scared of seeking treatment. Most people looking for treatment for this disorder are men, so getting help can make you feel like an oddball. Know that you are not alone, but that it is hard to get help as a woman. There are others out there struggling with the same issue.
If you are not comfortable going to a treatment facility or a support group and facing a roomful of male sex addicts, consider looking for a therapist for one-on-one treatment. There are counselors, therapists, and psychologists who specialize in sexual disorders who can help you. Start with your doctor for an idea of where to look for this specific type of care. With psychotherapy, you can learn to manage and control your impulses for sex. A good therapist can also help you investigate the reasons behind your obsessive behaviors. What underlies a sex addiction varies by person and events from your past may be affecting you more than you know. Your therapist can help you uncover these insights.
You may face some hurdles as a woman seeking treatment for sex addiction. Even the most experienced sex therapists may have had few female patients. You may need to try a few therapists before you settle on one that makes you feel comfortable and safe. There are many double standards regarding sexual behavior and gender. Even a well-trained therapist may unconsciously make assumptions about you. By being aware of that possibility and being willing to try a few out, you will be able to find someone who is right for you and can help you.
Support groups and 12-step programs, if you seek them out, will be formed largely of men. This does not mean that you cannot join them. While it may seem intimidating at first, some women actually find that working through this addiction with men helps them to form more normal, non-sexual relationships. The men in these support groups are fellow addicts and potential friends.
Overcoming any addiction is difficult. Getting over a sexual addiction is especially challenging for women. You have to cope with your own feelings of shame and guilt, the judgment of others, and the prevalence of men in treatment. You can overcome this, though. With hard work, diligence, and the support of others, you can return to a normal lifestyle.