The Basic Facts about “Sex Rehab” – Part One

In many ways, inpatient treatment for sexual addiction, aka “sex rehab,” is similar to substance abuse rehab – focusing on breaking through the addict’s denial, managing the crisis or crises that drove the patient into treatment, social learning, and relapse prevention. Basically, work centers on immediate concerns related to stopping the addictive sexual behavior. Yes, longer term issues like ongoing depression, severe anxiety, low self-esteem, and childhood trauma often underlie sexual addiction and definitely need to be addressed, but these problems are more appropriately dealt with after the addict is stabilized and has a modicum of sobriety under his/her belt.

The one significant difference between substance abuse rehab and sex addiction treatment is the definition of sobriety. Whereas complete abstinence is the goal in drug and alcohol treatment, sexual sobriety involves an ongoing commitment to behavior change rather than long-term abstinence. As is the case with an eating disorder – where a person with an eating problem still needs to eat, just in a manner that is healthy for him or her – a recovering sex addict must define, working in conjunction with his or her treatment team, which sexual behaviors are problematic and which are not. The patient then commits in a written sexual sobriety contract to engage only in the non-troubling sexual behaviors, and to do so moderately and appropriately. Thus, the definition of “sexual sobriety” differs from person to person depending on beliefs, values, and life circumstances.

That said, nearly all inpatient sex addiction treatment facilities require total abstinence while there. This is because sex addicts have nearly always lost the ability to recognize which of their sexual behaviors are problematic and which are not. They are so caught up in their addiction that they can no longer see the truth of what they are doing. Temporarily stepping away from all sexual behaviors helps patients to regain some perspective, and also to understand how pervasive their sexual fantasies, urges, and behaviors have become.

At most sex rehab facilities the recommended length of stay is approximately one month. For instance, the recommended length of stay at The Ranch (in Nunnelly, Tennessee) is 35 days. However, with sex addiction treatment, as is the case with drug and alcohol rehab, the length of stay varies from facility to facility and even patient to patient.

A common (and mistaken) belief that many patients have when they enter sex rehab centers is that they will be fully cured at the end of their inpatient stay. A lot of people think that when they walk out of the treatment center they will never again struggle with their addiction. This is most definitely not the case. Sex rehab does not in any way “cure” the disease of sexual addiction. Instead, it provides sex addicts with the tools they need to not act on that addiction. Essentially, the primary goals of inpatient sex addiction treatment are:

• To temporarily separate the addict from people, places, and things integral to his or her problematic sexual behaviors
• To help the addict delineate which sexual behaviors are problematic (and which are not)
• To help the addict gain insight into the full extent of his or her past dependency on sexual fantasy and behavior for emotional distraction and self-stabilization
• To educate the addict as to the full extent of the consequences of his or her sexual acting out, looking at harm to the addict and other people
• To thoroughly educate the client about addiction triggers and relapse prevention tools that he or she can use when triggered
• To help the client into build ego strength, social skills, and an ongoing social support network
• To break down the addict’s resistance to participation in lifelong, ongoing recovery from sexual addiction

Thus, sex rehab is the first step on the long road to lasting sexual sobriety and a satisfying life. It is not a cure. When a sex addict leaves treatment he or she is still a sex addict. The difference is that the person now has an understanding of and the ability to recognize the triggers that set the addiction in motion, a “toolbox” of effective coping mechanisms he or she can turn to instead of engaging in problematic sexual behaviors, and a support network that fully understands the nature of his or her addiction and what he or she may be struggling with at any given moment. In other words, sex rehab interrupts the addictive cycle, gives the addict perspective on his or her behavior, and begins the process of building awareness, coping mechanisms, and social support needed for long-term recovery.

Read more in The Basic Facts about “Sex Rehab” – Part Two