Does Porn Abuse Cause Sexual Dysfunction?

The tech-connect boom of the last several years has created a tidal wave of intensely graphic sexual images and videos. This material is accessed not only via home computers and laptops, but pads, smartphones, and a variety of other mobile devices. It has long been known that spending a lot of time searching for and viewing pornography can lead to emotional, relationship, and financial problems. Recently we are also seeing a porn-related rise in sexual dysfunction – both erectile dysfunction (ED) and its lesser known cousin, delayed ejaculation (DE). In a way, this confirms what sex addiction treatment specialists have suspected for quite some time – that among the many symptoms and consequences of porn abuse is reduced or even nonexistent interest in sexual, physical, and emotional connections with spouses and/or longer-term partners.

The sexual dysfunction problem is not entirely caused by the frequency of masturbation outside the primary relationship – i.e., the “refractory period” between orgasms. It is also caused by the fact that men tend to be sexually stimulated in visual (as opposed to emotional) ways. (Women’s sexual arousal tends to have much more of an emotional component.) For men, the more varied the visual stimuli, the better. The seemingly unlimited online access to porn, of course, feeds this desire.

Unsurprisingly, the man who spends the majority of his sexual life viewing, fantasizing about, and masturbating to pornography – endless images of young, exciting, different partners and sexual experiences – is likely, over time, to find real-world partners less interesting visually and less stimulating sexually than the infinite variety of imagery that appears on his computer screen and later bounces around in his head. The result is an emotional disconnect with spouses and partners that manifests physically as sexual dysfunction.

Common complaints by men experiencing porn-induced sexual dysfunction include:

• They have no problem achieving erection or orgasm with pornography, but in person, with a willing spouse or sexual partner, they struggle with one or both.
• They are able to have sex and achieve orgasm with their spouse or partner, but reaching orgasm takes a lot longer and their spouse or partner complains that they seem disengaged.
• They can maintain an erection with a spouse or partner, but can only reach orgasm by replaying clips of Internet porn in their heads.
• They invite spouses and partners to join them in watching porn – not as an occasional addendum to a healthy sexual life – but as a necessary tool toward erection and orgasm.
• They increasingly prefer “porn sex” to real sex, finding it more intense and engaging.
• They keep porn-related secrets from their spouse (amount of time looking at porn, images seen, etc.), which can lead to feelings of guilt and detachment.
• Their spouse or partner reports that they are beginning to feel like “the other woman.”

It is unlikely that everyone who suffers from porn-induced sexual dysfunction is a full-blown porn addict. Nevertheless, porn-induced ED and/or DE should at the very least be viewed as a precursor to porn addiction. Any man who uses porn and suffers from sexual dysfunction with a real-world partner should consider a respite from porn and masturbation for 30 days to see if the problem clears up. If it does, that’s great. If that individual thereafter stays away from porn, his in-the-flesh sex life should be fine. If, however, 30 days of porn and masturbation abstinence doesn’t clear things up, he may need to look deeper for the cause, which could be either physical or psychological in origin.

If it turns out the problem is porn addiction, the individual will need to understand that, like all addictions, porn addiction “rewires” the brain in ways that make it more difficult to experience “natural” pleasures, including pleasure from sex with a willing spouse or partner. As such, he should not expect the problem to remedy itself overnight. In fact, neuroscience tells us that it can take a year or more for pleasure pathways in the brain, when altered by addictive behaviors, to normalize.

Recovery from porn addiction most often involves counseling with a trained and licensed sexual addiction treatment specialist. Usually, individual therapy is coupled with group therapy for porn addicts and involvement in a 12-step sexual recovery program. Sometimes inpatient sex addiction treatment such as that offered by The Ranch or intensive outpatient treatment such as that offered by the Sexual Recovery Institute is needed to jump-start the healing process.