Spouse’s Sexual Addiction May Cause Severe Depression and Grief

Finding out a partner has a sexual addiction is no small reality. Not only does the spouse involved in cases of sexual addiction go through a series of strong emotions, many experts believe a spouse can experience symptoms of chronic depression, anxiety and post traumatic stress disorder.

While the experience may involve online sexual encounters, such as chat rooms or extend into pornography addiction, a recent article highlights the fact that many spouses react in a similar way to sexual addiction as they would if their spouse had engaged in a real-world sexual encounter. Some spouses may grieve so much that their experience can be compared to a spouse dying.

Helping a spouse understand that sexual addiction is a mental health disease, similar to alcohol or drug addiction, and that it affects key brain regions and multiple physical and emotional systems is one step, say addiction experts.

Just as spouses whose husband or wife is involved in alcohol addiction may attend a group meeting for strength and understanding, spouses of sexual addiction may also find help in attending similar groups.

It is also important to help a spouse come to the realization that the sexual addiction is often not connected at all to their performance as a spouse, but is often connected to long-held insecurities or even past abuse a partner has experienced.

People with sexual addiction are believed to have deeply-seeded intimacy problems, and the sexual activity becomes a way to avoid or survive these negative emotions.

Like a death, learning a spouse is living with sexual addiction – and that the addiction could have been present for several years – can cause a spouse to go through several grief responses. This may include refusing to believe the problem exists, strong feelings of shock and then anger before feelings of resolution can eventually be reached.

When sexual addiction is revealed, working through the process slowly, and letting the feelings of denial, shame, sadness or rage be felt is recommended by experts – a process that can be even more effective when working through professional counseling as a couple.