Understanding Bisexuality

Research, literature, and societal attitudes about bisexuality are all over the board. Part of the issue is that many people don’t understand what it is. Essentially, to be a bisexual man or woman means having a personally significant and meaningful romantic and/or sexual attraction to both males and females. One does not have to act upon bisexual feelings to self-identify as such, nor does one have to be equally attracted to both sexes. Furthermore, bisexual activity does not mean that one is truly bisexual (more on this below). Simply put, bisexuality, like all forms of sexuality, exists on a continuum. 

Today, even the American Psychological Association recognizes and accepts this “sexual continuum” concept. In fact, the APA released an official statement in 2005 reading, in part:

Sexual orientation is an enduring emotional, romantic, sexual, or affectionate attraction toward others. It is easily distinguished from other components of sexuality including biological sex, gender identity (the psychological sense of being male or female), and the social gender role (adherence to cultural norms for feminine and masculine behavior). Sexual orientation lies along a continuum that ranges from exclusive heterosexuality to exclusive homosexuality and includes various forms of bisexuality. Bisexual persons can experience sexual, emotional, and affectional attraction to both their own sex and the opposite sex. … Sexual orientation is different from sexual behavior because it refers to feelings and self-concept. Individuals may or may not express their sexual orientation in their behaviors.

Despite relatively common acceptance of the term “bisexual,” some people don’t like the label and refuse to use it. Other terms sometimes used to describe the same basic concept are polysexual, pansexual, queer, heteroflexible, homoflexible, MSM (men who have sex with men), and WSW (women who have sex with women).

There is little evidence about the underlying cause (or causes) of bisexuality. Proposed explanations include both nature and nurture. A lot of bisexuals think they are genetically bisexual—they are born that way—just as most people who self-identify as heterosexual or gay/lesbian believe they are genetically predisposed to their particular orientation. That said, it is clear that at least some bisexual behavior is driven by other factors. Complicating matters is the fact that bisexual activity does not always mean a person is actually bisexual. In other words, heterosexual and homosexual people can sometimes engage in bisexual behaviors for a wide variety of external reasons. For instance:

• Childhood sexual trauma can later become eroticized, causing survivors to re-enact same-sex (or opposite sex) interactions as a way to “control” an uncontrollable situation.
• Situational sexuality, usually seen in single-sex environments like prisons and boarding schools, can lead to bisexual behavior.
• Cultural and religious pressure can drive homosexuals to be sexual with the opposite gender.
• Sexual addiction and prostitution can lead straights and gays/lesbians into bisexual behavior.

Most people who comfortably self-identify as bisexual are probably “born that way,” just as most people who comfortably self-identify as either heterosexual or homosexual are born that way.

Being bisexual can be difficult, even in today’s society, which is less hetero-centric than ever before. Despite rapidly changing societal values, being different is still challenging for most people, especially when that difference involves something as important and deeply rooted as sexual orientation.

At present, homosexuality remains the most challenging form of sexual orientation in this respect. As such, self-identifying as bisexual can, for some, serve as a temporary bridge to an evolving homosexual self-identification. One study of young people found that approximately one-third of the individuals who initially self-identified as bisexual later self-identified as either gay or lesbian. (The remaining two-thirds continued to self-identify as bisexual.) So this sort of “bi now, gay later” behavior is not uncommon. That said, most self-identified bisexuals find total integrity in their self-designation. For them, bisexuality is the only label that fully aligns with their emotions, romances, and sexual desires.

For people struggling to accept their bisexual orientation, the healthiest therapeutic goal is not to “change” or “cure” their orientation (which can’t be done); instead, the best approach is to help them feel comfortable with who they are and what they truly desire. As such, therapy typically focuses on helping bisexual people to understand and integrate their sexual orientation/behavior, helping them to be healthy, hopeful, and holistic human beings regardless of who turns them on.