LOS ANGELES–(BUSINESS WIRE)–The Sexual Recovery Institute (SRI), founded by Robert Weiss in 1995 and known throughout the U.S. as the leading outpatient sexual addiction (SA) recovery center, has released a series of informational videos intended to reach consumers seeking help and direction toward healing from sex addiction.
Because of the differences between shame and guilt (who I am versus what I did), people respond to each emotion differently.
Guilt, because it emphasizes what someone did wrong, tends to elicit more constructive responses, particularly responses that seek to mend the damage done. Guilt is tied to beliefs about what is wrong, moral and immoral. When we violate one of these moral guidelines, it causes us to feel guilty over our actions and seek to fix what we have done. As a result, guilt is an important tool in maintaining standards of right and wrong in individuals and society as a whole. As such, guilt can often be used as a tool to overcome conflict.
The saying, “There is nothing worse than a reformed smoker” applies even more intensely when dealing with sexual addicts. While it is true that early recovery requires a clear and well-defined sexual plan and often may require a period of celibacy, I never cease to be amazed by the degree of judgment, sexual anorexia and fear that can be generated by sex addicts who actually chose to engage in some form of sex in their early part of recovery.
It was a gift to hear Tiger Woods in his news conference today prior to the US Masters. Anyone who wants to understand the most hopeful outcome of sex addiction rehab should listen to his words to the media today. Though people do go into treatment to avoid problems and negative consequences, they can leave as a better person than they were when they went in. Listening today, I heard a man who actually got what he needed to get out of rehab. I heard sincerity, accountability and a focus on the right priorities – home, family and healing. He cut the line well at keeping his private life private -while also owning the harm, hurt and loss he has caused and incurred.
How do you work through feelings of guilt and shame? First, you identify what those feelings are.
You feel guilt over something you do. If you tell someone a lie, you may feel guilty. You can overcome those feelings of guilt, however, by apologizing or making amends. Think of guilt as a moral conscious: If I know I’m going to feel guilty after I’ve done something … I might be less inclined to do it.
Step 1
Become a young sports superstar. Make sure your family teaches you the importance of being loved for performance, rather than who you are. Improve upon your talent but stop growing emotionally.
When clients first come in for treatment, they initially have some confusion over the concepts of SHAME and GUILT. They report having feelings of both but are unclear on just how they differ.
1. Find people with significant recovery to learn from. If you cannot find people and groups in your area, call national fellowship offices for long distance contacts. Also, each fellowship has national conferences every year at which you can meet people.
With rumors flying regarding Tiger Wood’s supposed trip to ’sex rehab,’ I am receiving an increasing number of media calls asking to explain exactly how sex addiction treatment works. Here is a brief overview of the five stages of sex rehab:
It’s no secret that the media loves to focus on rehab in general when it comes to celebrities, but thanks to Tiger Woods, sex rehab is in the limelight. It’s everywhere: television shows (i.e. “Californication,” “Sex Rehab”), news and movies. And as coverage increases so does the number of people seeking treatment–or sex rehab.
