High-Risk Behavior Increases With Sexual Addiction
A young married mother hooked on the rush of new relationships risks the fallout of her addiction on the lives of her husband and daughter.
A young married mother hooked on the rush of new relationships risks the fallout of her addiction on the lives of her husband and daughter.
With sexual addiction it is usually the betrayal of relationship trust caused by consistent lying rather than any specific sexual act that causes the deepest pain to a betrayed spouse or partner. The trauma experienced by a spouse who is forced to live with a sex addict’s secrets and lies is usually quite significant. The sudden realization that a long-term intimate partner has been living a double-life filled with sexual infidelity can cause the cheated on partner to question literally everything about his or her relationship, regardless of whether the cheating has been in-person (affairs, prostitutes, sensual massage, anonymous sex, etc.) or online (porn, webcams, social media, dating/hookup websites and apps, etc.).
Most sex addicts do not think about the pain they may be causing to their spouse or long-term partner. It’s not that they don’t care; it’s that they simply avoid thinking about or even considering the damage they are doing. Typically this damage occurs on two levels. First there is the pain and hurt caused by the actual infidelity, and then there is the agony caused by all the lying, secret keeping, and covering up. Oftentimes this second part, the dishonesty, is what ultimately causes the most distress to the cheated on spouse.
It’s often difficult to acknowledge the effect our behaviors have on our lives and the lives of those around us. We are creatures of habit after all, but some “habits” can have serious consequences. Robert Weiss’ book, Untangling the Web: Sex, Porn and Fantasy Addiction in the Internet Age specifically discusses potentially harmful Internet habits. Porn addiction, cyber affairs and online sexual chatting can become addictive behaviors with negative outcomes.
Infidelity and spousal betrayal have been shoved into the spotlight with the Tiger Woods episode and the subsequent drama continuing to play out around it. Therapy experts working with betrayed spouses are evolving a deeper understanding and better tools to support these women who are often emotionally abandoned and even blamed for their own husband’s infidelities.