Fixated, compulsive, obsessed with thoughts about sex and finding the next partner – these can be described as hallmarks of sex addiction. There are also surprising symptoms associated with sex addiction, a progressive addiction believed to affect more than 12 million adults in the U.S.

Because of negative associations with sexual addiction, many may live in secret with serious, chronic symptoms for years – destroying families, careers and lives.

Symptoms of sexual addiction may include:

• Inability to control or resist urges to engage in sex, even in public and inappropriate places despite consequences.
• Obsessive, consuming thoughts about sex that the person cannot stop, and sometimes reflect bizarre and unwanted sexual experiences.
• Feelings of escape or avoidance of negative emotions associated with having sex, similar to how a person living with alcohol addiction would relieve stress through drinking.
• Repeated strong desire to seek out the next sexual encounter, either with multiple partners, strangers or even paid sexual services.

While these symptoms are increasingly becoming more widely known as the condition achieves higher levels of formal diagnosis and recognition, there are other symptoms of sexual addiction that may be less known.

Lesser-known symptoms of sexual addiction:

• A loss of desire for sex with a partner or spouse. The person may feel “numb” or detached from typical sexual situations. This is also accompanied by a lack of pleasure or joy in the act of sex.
• Sexual performance problems. Over time, changes occur at the brain level related to pleasure centers and sexual performance when sexual addiction is present, leading many to develop sexual performance problems.
• Increase in other obsessive behaviors, such as compulsive gambling, drinking or eating. These disorders may occur simultaneously with sexual addiction – especially as the feelings of stress, shame and guilt of the sexual addiction grows stronger.
• Compulsive masturbation, which can occur in public or inappropriate places.

While symptoms of sexual addiction may vary, the condition can last for years if untreated. Professional help is required to identify the triggers and prepare a lasting plan for recovery.

Bipolar disorder and sex addiction – experts are learning more about the connections and symptoms of these two complex disorders. The connections and crossovers may be more prevalent than currently believed.

Commonly referred to as “hypersexuality,” many individuals with bipolar disorder may see a crossover diagnosis of sex addiction, and vice versa. A recent article suggests that as many as one-fourth to more than three-fourths of individuals with bipolar disorder may also have sexual addiction, or symptoms of hypersexual behavior.

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A fetish is an object, behavior, or body part whose real or fantasized presence is part of a person’s sexual gratification. In other words, fetishes are recurrent and intensely arousing sexual fantasies, urges, and behaviors that incorporate specific roles and/or physical objects. These objects and roles are incorporated into a person’s sexual life because they are a compelling and sometimes even primary source of arousal. Most fetishes are playful and harmless, though some are pathological, dangerous, and even illegal.

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Sex addiction is a complicated thing. Many experts would even refrain from using the term addiction, as they believe it applies to substance abuse only. However, all experts would agree that it is possible to become obsessive about sexual behaviors and to have a strong and destructive compulsion to seek out sexual activities. Some professionals prefer to call this hypersexual disorder.

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It is from somewhere near the ceiling that I witness myself and the scene I have somehow chosen. I am naked on a stranger’s bed – a four poster of heavy carved mahogany. I am tied with intricate knots binding my wrists to my ankles behind me. There is the deafening sound of metal music, which vibrates the bed beneath me. There is scented candlelight diffusing the room, creating a density of sickening sweetness. A man is standing near the bed speaking menacingly to me about his selection of tools, a cane. He is preparing to cane the bottom of my tender, bare feet. When he begins, I seem to fall into the center of the nearest candle.

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One of the difficulties that nearly every sex addict who opts for recovery encounters, usually sooner rather than later, is telling the people in his or her life what’s going on. The simple fact is most people have little to no understanding of what sex addiction actually is. In fact, a lot of folks think it sounds like fun. You, of course, know that it isn’t. In fact, it’s as devastatingly un-fun as full-blown alcoholism or drug addiction, with consequences that are every bit as severe. So what do you tell your spouse, your best pal, your boss, your parents, or whoever it is that needs to know that: a) you’re making some major changes; and b) why you’re doing it?

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Sex addiction is a very touchy subject. Admitting to an addiction of any type is tough to do, but when it involves sex, the odds of facing up to it are even lower. A sex addiction, also known as hypersexual disorder or compulsive sexual behavior, is an obsession with feelings, thoughts, or behaviors that are sexual in nature and which negatively affect aspects of your life. A sex addiction can be very destructive and can lead to damaged relationships, lowered self-esteem, lost careers, and more devastating effects.

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By all accounts, Pierce is a creative, funny, intelligent 30-something who owns a freelance business doing what he loves. He’s genuine and generous with his friends; he likes to surprise people with small finds and fun get-togethers. Pierce is known for his great stories and absolute loyalty. People describe him as, “a teddy bear,” and “a big-hearted guy.”  

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People with sex addiction often describe the same types of feelings – hopelessness, trapped, angry, frustrated and depressed. In contrast to stereotypes or movie portrayals of sex addiction, the condition is anything but funny or pleasurable. For the nearly 16 million Americans believed to have sex addiction, it’s a life-destructive problem that’s progressive in nature and difficult to talk about. It also occurs with rising frequency among both genders.

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While love and sex are certainly not inseparable, romantic love only rarely exists without sexual involvement. For many people, sexual attraction is a critical component of loving their romantic partner. Sex and love are certainly both intense physical and emotional experiences, and, like many such experiences, they can give rise to obsession and addiction.

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