Male Porn Addiction vs. an Active Sex Life

Pornography addiction, the most common form of sexual addiction, has a wide variety of real-world consequences. For starters, there are the usual problems associated with any form of addiction, such as trouble at work or in school, loss of interest in hobbies and other enjoyable activities, lack of self-care, declining physical and/or emotional health, social isolation, financial woes, and sometimes even legal issues. With male porn addiction, there can also be a variety of intimacy and sexuality consequences.

Loss of Interest in Real-World Relationships

Pornography created for and used by males typically has no storyline, no intimate connection, no foreplay, no buildup to the sexual performance, and no concern for the performer’s emotions. Instead, it’s an endless stream of highly objectified body parts and sexual acts. There’s no talking, no kissing, no negotiating, no discussion of safer sex, no seducing, no romancing, and no tenderness. Furthermore, there’s no risk of rejection, meaning pornography completely eliminates the need to become emotionally vulnerable. In other words, porn has little to do with real-world relationships and sexuality.

Because of this, many male porn addicts are becoming out of sync with real-world intimacy. Porn is faster, easier, and doesn’t require emotional vulnerability, so many porn addicts simply prefer it to real-life sex. This may be true even with some non-addicted porn users. In fact, two large-scale studies conducted in Japan found that during a two-year span the percentage of young males stating they had no interest in or even an outright aversion to sex with an actual human being doubled. It’s hardly a secret that this rising disinterest in real-world sex coincides directly with the online porn boom, which began in earnest right around 2008 with the advent of smartphones, sexting, and the growing availability of free porn.

Sexual Dysfunction

Another increasingly common issue with pornography addiction in males is sexual dysfunction. Put simply, growing numbers of physically healthy men in their sexual prime are reporting issues with both erectile dysfunction and delayed ejaculation. And it appears that much of the time these issues are directly tied to pornography. The problem isn’t entirely related to the frequency of masturbation and orgasm. Instead, the issue is tied to the fact that when a man spends 90 percent or more of his sexual life searching for, looking at, an masturbating to digital porn — endless, constantly changing images of highly arousing “partners” and body parts — he’s likely to find a lone real-world partner less stimulating. In other words, it becomes much more difficult to become and stay turned on by one real and therefore imperfect person with actual feelings and emotions when you’re used to hundreds of “perfect” people who display no personality traits at all and repeatedly perform exactly the sexual acts you like the most, usually with zealous enthusiasm.

Much of the time male porn addicts have no trouble at all achieving erections and orgasms with pornography, but they struggle with a real person — even when they find that person incredibly attractive. This issue affects not just the porn addict, but his partner or partners. After all, if a man can’t get or maintain an erection or reach orgasm, sexual pleasure is diminished for both parties.

Partner Issues

It’s not just sexual dysfunction that affects the spouses and partners of male porn addicts. Research shows that a man’s frequent porn use can adversely affect the self-esteem of his partner. In short, the partners of heavy porn users are less happy in their relationships, with corresponding decreases in self-esteem. The most common complaint from partners is that they feel like they can’t measure up to the unrealistic perfection of digital pornography.

Other research shows that the wives of sexually addicted men (including porn addicted men), after learning about their husband’s infidelity, often experience acute stress symptoms characteristic of post-traumatic stress disorder, a serious psychiatric condition with long-lasting and often dire consequences. This is true regardless of whether the sexual betrayal occurs in person, as with an in-the-flesh affair, or online, as with pornography abuse.