An Interview with Sarah Chapin, Executive Director of the Sexual Recovery Institute

“Who do I want to be?” “What should I do next?” These are some of the questions that Sarah Chapin and the staff at the Sexual Recovery Institute (SRI) help clients and their families answer. Whether an individual is calling to learn more about their treatment options or finishing up a program at the Sexual Recovery Institute, Sarah’s goal is to impart a message of hope and support.

The people who call SRI, both sex addicts and their loved ones, are in a great deal of pain. They are filled with shame, anxiety, anger and confusion, and don’t know how to keep their family together.

“So many people don’t feel they have a safe place to turn to talk about these issues,” Sarah explains. “When they call us, they are grateful to share what’s been going on and to have someone listen without judgment.”

Sarah and the admissions team at SRI help callers understand the basics of sex addiction and the range of treatment options, including 12-Step programs, outpatient treatment, counseling and programs for spouses/partners. Whether they choose SRI or another program, it is important to Sarah that they get help somewhere.

“Our goal is to be a resource for people who are looking for help for sex addiction,” she says. “For partners, it is extremely important that they take care of themselves and address the trauma they’ve experienced. For sex addicts, they need to know that they have the power to move into recovery and that we can help them get clarity on what that path looks like.”

When clients complete treatment at SRI, Sarah’s efforts to educate and support continue. Clients complete exit surveys which provide helpful insights about ways to improve the programs. In response to some of the clients’ suggestions, SRI is expanding its alumni support, has started an evening intensive program and has designed a program specifically for self-identified gay men. SRI’s Sex and Sensibility group for gay male sex addicts has been highly successful at providing a safe community for these individuals to come together and support one another.

Empowered to Change

In surveys, clients offer high praise for the one-on-one attention they receive at SRI as well as the group support. As a small program, clients bond quickly and are able to talk about issues they’ve never talked about before. Living in a sober living home allows them to continue to bond in the evenings while getting a broader perspective on who they are and where their addiction has taken them. It is extremely powerful, Sarah says, for clients to share their secrets and realize they’re not alone. They can still be loved and cared for even when their secrets are known.

When Sarah chats with clients in the hallway, she sees a marked difference from when they first began treatment.

“At first, they are very quiet, even with each other, and their eyes are fixed on the ground. They’re scared, they don’t know what to expect and their lives are literally falling apart around them,” she says. “Pretty quickly, we begin to see a shift. They start talking and laughing, and the light comes on in their eyes. They know there is hope and that recovery is possible.”

That’s one of the differences Sarah has noticed between individuals recovering from chemical dependency and those recovering from sex addiction. Since there is no detox period, and most clients have a strong incentive to be there (often because they do not want to lose their spouse or family or their career), clients at SRI make progress quickly.

“Our clients are typically intelligent, high-achieving and ready to learn,” she says. “On day one, they start learning how to make lifelong behavioral changes.”

Other differences include the fact that sex addiction treatment focuses on helping clients build a healthy relationship with sex whereas drug and alcohol treatment is all about abstinence. There also tends to be more shame and stigma attached to sex addiction.

“Similar to the way alcoholism was viewed 40 or 50 years ago, sex addiction is still highly stigmatized and poorly understood,” Sarah explains. “As a result, it can be difficult for people to heal because they don’t always feel comfortable reaching out to friends, family or others for support.”

In spite of these differences, there are important similarities between sex addiction treatment and recovery from drug addiction. For example, Sarah notes the importance of the 12-Step principles in both recovery processes and the applicability of major themes such as accountability, asking for help and giving back, among others.

A Unique Perspective

Sarah has a unique perspective on addiction recovery because she lived it herself. A Boston area native, she moved to California for college and worked in the business side of the entertainment industry for years. After traveling the world for film festivals, a struggle with addiction changed her course.

Over a decade ago, she became a client at Promises West L.A., working hard with the support of her family to recover from an addiction she had struggled with for years. Even though she didn’t always want to, she followed all of her treatment team’s recommendations, completing months of residential treatment and continuing care.

“Every piece of what I’ve learned in recovery remains applicable to my life today,” she says. “Staying grounded, holding myself responsible, treating others how I want to be treated, and going above and beyond to help people – I use all of these skills to help our clients become the people they want to be.”

An Opportunity to Serve

Because she felt safe and cared for there, she returned to Promises to work as a technician. She completed the UCLA Extensions program for drug and alcohol counseling and slowly moved her way up to lead technician, and then into roles in administration, admissions and marketing.

“I enjoyed every role at Promises because I was able to give back and use my own experience and my own challenges to help other people,” Sarah says. “When I talked to parents whose children were addicts and could say, ‘I was there, too, and things can turn around,’ I knew that I was doing something positive with all the negativity I’d created.”

Sarah eventually went back to school to earn a master’s degree in business at USC, but she kept in touch with the Promises team. After graduation, she got a call from Promises’ CEO who asked if she would like to apply for the position of executive director at the Sexual Recovery Institute. She gladly accepted, anxious to work with some of the world’s leading sex addiction experts.

“Robert Weiss, Sharon O’Hara, Michael Alvarez and Bill Owen – together, these experts have well over 75 years of experience in sex addiction therapy,” she says. “They are not only committed to creating one of the most effective sex addiction programs in the country, but they are equally dedicated to sharing their expertise with other therapists and the community. It is an honor to work with them.”

One of the goals of treatment at SRI is to introduce clients to a full range of treatments and let them decide what works best for them. The 12 Steps and cognitive-behavioral therapy are central components, but clients also have access to meditation, therapeutic art, trauma therapy and other tools.

Turning Hopelessness into Healing

As executive director, Sarah’s favorite part of the day is getting on the phone and staying connected with clients. She has a unique authenticity and ability to relate because she has survived addiction and knows firsthand that treatment can work. A strong advocate and natural listener, Sarah provides even-tempered, consistent leadership and wants nothing more than to help others succeed. Outside of work, Sarah can be found surfing (she finds being in nature profoundly meditative even though she says she’s a novice), hiking with her dog or volunteering in animal rescue.

Through her own recovery and nearly a decade of working in the addiction treatment field, Sarah believes there is a great deal of hope for people who have been affected by sex addiction.

“With sex addiction, there is so much that’s not understood. So many people feel hopeless, like there’s no help available,” she says. “But there is hope. At SRI, we see people get better every day. Whatever path they choose, there’s a lot of healing that can happen even in the darkest times.”